As a beauty and aesthetics website, we normally shy away from terms like “garbage fire” or “collective existential crisis.” However, that’s the verbiage the year 2020 deserves, given everything it’s thrown at us. It’s been so historically bad that Netflix even created a mockumentary special, Death to 2020, all about it. That said, while we’re in the spirit of denouncing and disowning, it’s important to convert that negative energy into something progressive and productive. Below, a list of the 20 things you absolutely have to leave behind in 2020…so you can live your best life in 2021.

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1. Expectations.

2020 turned our plans on their heads and chucked them out the door faster than we could say “quarantine.” Let’s learn to create plans for our lives with the unexpected—or even the disastrous—in mind, remembering that at any moment, our lives could change drastically. Be less attached to your plans. By making them more malleable and adjustable, you’ll be less freaked when the next crisis comes along.

2. The need to impress others.

Look, it’s been a tough year for everyone, even for those whose Instagram Stories seem as bright and lively as ever. Living in isolation has hopefully made you realize that the opinions that truly matter are yours and your loved ones’ (likely the people you spent most of this year with). Everyone is too caught up in their own problems and inner lives to spend extensive amounts of time caring about yours. And if they do, then that says a lot more about them than it does you.

3. Living above your means.

There’s no denying that financial struggles were had in 2020, what with people losing their jobs or having to close down their businesses. 2020 should have served as a wakeup call to those who continue to live a more luxurious lifestyle than their income can actually handle. There’s nothing wrong with living more simply. Think about the last 5 material purchases you made. Do they all still excite you as much as they did when you bought them (or were thinking about buying them)?

4. Toxic relationships.

Life is too short—and you are too young!—to spend another year of your life with people that drain your energy and generosity. Any relationship should always be give and take, but if you find yourself feeling unheard, manipulated, even forced to do or feel things that don’t sit right with your gut, then it’s time to go. 2020 has already been hard enough; don’t bring them into your new year.

5. Self-sabotage.

This is your number-one deterrent to true success. Be more vigilant towards your actions and see if you’re the one stopping yourself from reaching your goals. Is it the excuses you make? Is it your lack of practice? Is it your self-doubt? Zero in on what’s holding you back, forgive yourself for cultivating it, then change it. Now is the time.

6. Ungratefulness.

This year was one of grief and loss. Many had to struggle with the death of loved ones, while others are mourning the year they could have had…one filled with travel and absolute freedom. But there are a great many things we should all be thankful for: the gift of breathing normally, of still having our livelihood, of being safe and healthy with family, the list goes on and on. When you’re feeling down, make a list of 10 things you’re lucky to have, and it’ll boost your mood in no time. 

7. Not valuing your personal space.

It was hard to find little pockets of solitude this year. But if you’ve been quarantined with others, it’s time to be more assertive about your boundaries and personal space, be it physically or emotionally. When you feel uneasy about a social situation, it’s usually because a boundary of yours 

8. Comparing your journey to that of others’.

Your beginning will always pale in comparison to someone else’s middle. By focusing on your own journey, you can avoid self-doubt and imposter syndrome from creeping into the precious real estate of your mind. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is yourself.

9. Unhealthy social media habits.

Whether it’s excessive screen time, lurking too often on toxic comment sections, or even starting ad hominem arguments with complete strangers, there are more than a few bad habits we ought to unlearn. 

10. Not prioritizing your health—physical, mental, or otherwise.

The year of COVID has taught us all that health is something we shouldn’t be taking for granted. Let’s leave behind the bahala na attitude when it comes to our bodies—we may be young and healthy now, but that could change in a second. Make the necessary doctor’s appointments and changes to your lifestyle now.

11. Not having enough self-awareness.

Repeat after us: Sometimes, I’m the toxic one. Without self-awareness, we aren’t able to evaluate where *we* have gone wrong, causing us to point fingers at others every single time. Becoming a better person involves being honest about our missteps…and making the proper amends. 

12. Settling for less.

Yessir. This covers everything, from jobs you’re not happy with to relationships that have gone stale. If you’re putting in your best effort and aren’t being treated right in return, then something’s gotta give. And it’s got to be you.

13. Judgment of others.

Imagine if your deepest, darkest secrets were published online for everyone to see. You’d be scrambling to explain and contextualize, out of frustration that people are oversimplifying those events in your life…and judging you too hard. Now, think of it the other way around. What about when *you* judge others? There are multiple sides to every story, and what isn’t our business should stay that way.

14. Friends that don’t actually support you.

You ever have those friends whose tone suddenly changes when you tell them good news? How about the ones who give you compliments…that don’t really sound like compliments? Yeah, time to leave all that fakery in 2020. We deserve friends who genuinely care for our success.

15. Not standing up for what you believe in.

As the line in Hamilton goes, “If you stand for nothing…what will you fall for?” Whatever your beliefs may be, it’s important to voice them out loud and clear. Engage in healthy and productive discussions—not flame wars—with people who believe otherwise. It’s important to step out of your echo chamber and hear what others have to say.

16. Unpreparedness for the future.

2020 has taught us that however prepared we thought we were, we weren’t. So whether it’s beefing up your savings, signing up for a life insurance policy, or even preparing a plan for your family in the event of your death, you need to cover all your bases. We know it sounds morbid, but it’s better to be ready, right?

17. Not treating yourself every once in a while.

Alright, this is possibly the only fun thing on this list. However hard you might be working, you do deserve to reward yourself when possible. This is self-explanatory, so we’re going to move on to…

18. Your ex.

Yeah. You know what, it turns out this is self-explanatory, too.

19. The idea that the pandemic is somehow already over.

We know it’s impossible to stay at home 100% of the time. Some of us are even traveling and dining out again. Well, whether you’re choosing to practice ECQ measures voluntarily or are exploring the few freedoms allowed to us during this extended GCQ period, please make sure to continue following social distancing and mask-wearing guidelines. 

20. Hating yourself.

It breaks our heart to know that there are people out there who dislike or even hate who they are. Self-acceptance is the most powerful thing to have, because it allows you to live a full and authentic life. You are beautiful, and no matter what you look like or what you’ve done in the past, you deserve to be loved and forgiven. You deserve to move forward and to find happiness, whatever that may look like for you.

We hope you enter 2021 with open arms and a basket full of new opportunities. Happy New Year, Belo Beauties!