20 People Share The Best Lessons They Learned in 2020
December 25, 2020
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With the pandemic literally keeping people physically apart, it’s no surprise that couples are breaking up left and right. Sure, you can keep “connected” with Zoom, FaceTime, and all those other video and instant messaging apps, but let’s face it, nothing quite compares to spending quality time with someone face-to-face. No amount of emojis and stickers can quite suffice.
That being said, getting over someone isn’t what it used to be pre-COVID. You can’t exactly do the cliché “soul-searching” thing and book a random flight to get a breath of fresh air. (To think we had a great hashtag for a post-breakup trip to Korea: #SeoulSearching. Sigh, maybe next year.) And no, you can’t just party it all away. Meeting new people will also have its share of adjustments. But have no fear. There are still ways you can truly move on even in these strange times. Here are some tips to get out of those sweats and claim a fabulous new life without your ex in the picture.
Yoga teacher Adriene Mishler sure knew what she was saying when she made this her catchphrase. That’s because her yoga vids don’t feel too intimidating or out-of-this-world. According to psychologist and psychotherapist Francesca Moresi, it’s important to keep those happy hormones flowing after any breakup. One way is through calming activities like practicing yoga, reading a book, or meditating. Find something you deeply enjoy doing so you’ll keep those negative thoughts (and memories) at bay. The change is not going to be overnight, so be gentle on yourself.
Okay, so obviously becoming a plantita or adopting a furry friend has become all the rage these days because it feels so good to be needed every single day. It takes our mind off from the temptation to just totally waste away if you’re living alone. Plus, they make your home feel cozier. Relationship therapist Veronica Chin-Hung also points out how incorporating certain “life-affirming” activities into your calendar helps keep you from losing track of time.
It may feel like the last thing you should be doing, but it’s actually healthy to take a step back and look at how much progress you’ve made trying to get over your ex, says Virginia Gilbert, a marriage and family therapist. At some point, you need to face your feelings, too. Don’t be afraid to process your emotions as you go along, to give yourself a pat on the back, and write down things you are grateful for. The more you exercise the thankful muscle, the more you’ll look forward to each day.
With a lot of lonely souls out there this pandemic, it’s only natural to want to go online dating so you can meet a potential new love interest. But it has to be clear that it’s not the only thing you’re doing post-breakup. If anything, you should be treating it as a way to have that sense of human connection and establish a sense of “normalcy” in your life, says psychotherapist Matt Lundquist.
Just know that you’re going to be okay. It will take some time and effort, but know that there are so many other people out there just like you taking it one day at a time. Hope these tips help!
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