5 Signs You Should Probably Break Up With Your Partner

By Steph Esguerra-Olarte for Belo Medical Group on March 5, 2021

For those of us who have been in a relationship, we know all too well the rainbows and butterflies that go with falling in love last only so long. They say “it takes two to tango,” so if your dance partner is no longer swaying to the same rhythm, then he should probably take a bow. Here are five signs that you should probably call it quits.

  1. You’re clearly not his priority.

No matter how busy he may be, as long as he makes time to be with you, then you’ll feel your importance in his life. If he’s been crazy busy with a project or going through a tough time, then cut him some slack. But if you know he’s not preoccupied with something major and he still neglects you even after you’ve communicated that you want to spend more time with him, then you deserve someone else who will make you feel your worth. “Relationships lose their luster,” says Dr. Karen Sherman, a psychologist and book author. “So make yours a priority.”

  1. You don’t see a future together.

When the excitement of romantic love starts to fade away, it’s typical for people in a healthy relationship to start laying down plans for the future together. The problem is when you have a sinking feeling that you’d rather try new things on your own…or even with someone else. You might not even know who—you just know it isn’t them. That’s a clear signal that you can’t see yourself with your current partner for the long-term. Psychotherapist Markesha Miller notes that it’s unfair to hold a person “without any intent for future plans” and this limits both parties from “finding their ‘happily ever after.’”

  1. It’s not fun anymore, a.k.a. you’re bored of your partner.

Past the getting-to-know you phase, you may realize that you don’t actually find the same things enjoyable to do. Worse, you’re actually starting to dread doing things with him because you’re not even on the same wavelength. While it’s true that opposites attract, being bored of your partner is totally different from just not finding excitement in his interests. Lindsay Chrisler, a dating and relationships coach, says that while it’s possible to be in love with someone you don’t actually like, it may be possible to get by on a daily basis—but not through challenging times. 

  1. You’ve grown apart and you feel stuck in the relationship.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that it’s not the length of the relationship, but the quality of the relationship that matters. You don’t need to stay in a relationship just because you’ve been together for a long time. Hey, people change. If you no longer feel a connection, it’s okay to say goodbye. You’re doing yourself a favor by moving on. 

  1. Your partner abuses you.

According to Psychology Today, “repeated instances of critical, undermining, blaming, sarcastic, disrespectful, or manipulative comments” are classic signs of verbal abuse. There’s emotional, mental, and physical abuse, too. 

No matter how much you love your partner, no one has the right to cause you any kind of pain. When your partner continuously hurts you in a way that reduces your sense of dignity, controls you, threatens or frightens you, the first step is to recognize the signs of abuse and to step away. In the age of self-love and mental health awareness, learn to love yourself first.

While relationships take a ton of work, they’re also supposed to bring you happiness in each other. If these signs ring a bell, it may be time to go your separate ways. You can pull through this!

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